Courage

Whenever I hear the word courage, I think back to a story (though how truthful this story is I do not know) of a college student whose final in class essay was write about courage. "This is courage." he allegedly wrote on the first line of his blue book and turned in it. Sometime in my first few years in the classroom, I had a student try something similar. He shared the story with me and my first response was "That's not courage...that's cowardly." Needless to say, our views on this alleged "courageous essay" were not the same.

 Courage is something we talk about often, but we usually have very different descriptions of the word. I was recently speaking with a room full of new teachers and I themed my presentation around The Wizard of Oz. I spoke (and probably for too long) about the things we can learn from the characters of this classic. From the lion we learn that we must have courage.  We must have the courage to do what is right for our students.  We must have the courage to try a new idea in class even if it means we may fail.  We must be courageous in this profession.


As I was traveling last year, I ended up on a plane with a couple of teachers (at least that is what I gathered from their conversation.) They were talking about a book that changed their life.  (Point of clarification:  I was not eavesdropping.  Along with my teaching license came  super sonic hearing.)  Of course I want to know this book title, so I keep listening thinking to myself "If this book is that powerful, I  need to get it."  It is just my luck that the two gentlemen sitting between me and those gals with the life changing book decide now is the time to start work on a presentation.  I can't hear a thing.  The only words I understood were:  Palmer, Courage, and Teach.  I get off the plane wondering how a golf book was going to change my life. As I wait at baggage claim, I google those three words and indeed discovered Parker Palmer's The Courage to Teach.  How could I have never heard of this book?  I quickly download it to my kindle and started reading it right away.  I was at a crossroads.  Was I going back into my classroom or was I going to take the job as an Instructional Coach for my school district?  Much advice was already sought and much sleep already lost.  I had no answer.  So I figure Parker Palmer may have the answer.  "This book is for teachers who have good days and bad, and whose bad days bring the suffering that comes only from somethings one loves.  It is for teachers who refuse to harden their hearts because they love learners, learning, and the teaching life."  This book was indeed going to change my life, though in ways I never imagined.

I couldn't seem to get past the first chapter because I read it over and over again.  As I moved forward, I found these words "“If we want to grow as teachers -- we must do something alien to academic culture: we must talk to each other about our inner lives -- risky stuff in a profession that fears the personal and seeks safety in the technical, the distant, the abstract.”   Then I realized why the word COURAGE was in the title. Most of us love our jobs in the classroom. Most of us are experts in our content and in pedagogical practice.  We can talk all day long with unparalleled passion about best practices and effective instructional strategies.  But did he  just say, that if I am going to grow as a professional I have to do a little (okay a lot) of soul searching?  Hold up!  I'm not sure I am up for that kind of conversation in the teacher's lounge.  I prefer to discuss the inner most feeling of Addison from Private Practice than my own internal struggles.  And I stopped reading.  I was not sure I had the courage to go there...at least just yet.  


When I first started the book I thought the idea of COURAGE would center around the ideas I spoke about with that group of pretty awesome new teachers.  I really expected it to center around having the courage to take risks, to set high expectations, and maybe even to touch on the courage to dream.  In some ways it does touch on those, but more importantly, Palmer pushes the reader to have the courage to think about who we are as individuals and how that shapes us as teachers.  


Yes, I found the courage to continue reading. Yes, I am sure many more posts will spring from  "ah-ha" moments while I read and re-read the pages of this book.  The question I am left wondering is this "Will I have the courage to actually do what he says?"  It seems lately that I have discovered that indeed there is a little courage inside.  I will be open, honest, and genuine about my own struggles as I continue to read and share Palmer and I continue the very personal look at my inner life and my life as a teacher.